Divorce

A Glass Etienne Delessert

Delessert, E, 2013, A glass.,  Creative Editions

‘A Glass’ authored by Etienne Delessert was written for those ages 5-10, but explores themes atypical of this target audience. The text is darker and more sophisticated than anything most 5-10 year old children are typically exposed to. The sophistication of the text is sufficient to suggest that many of the implied meanings in this text may actually be inaccessible to the targeted age group.

‘A Glass’ is the story of Eglantine Besson, left without a biological mother after his birth, his father hires a woman to care for him, ultimately transforming into a story of a step-mother’s love for a child. “Everyone wants a mum like mine” is perhaps the most telling quote in this book. The quote illustrated a point which is constructed throughout the book through the use of setting, characterisation and events; namely that a traditional nuclear family is not necessary in developing a positive family construct.

The story does not progress without complications. The title ‘A Glass’ refers to a small glass that was thrown during the only heated family argument the child and stepmother ever participated in. Having not broken, the glass remains on the mantel piece, now confined with the storage of a few random items, representing the challenges the family has overcome. “I can’t even remember the reason for her anger…. It did not break. We laughed, hugged… for the rest of her long life.”

The narrative of this text ends in the compelling and poignant statement “She’s my real mum”, suggesting the acceptance of the mother, despite the issues explored earlier in the book.

Boundless Grace,  Mary Hoffman 

Hoffman, M, 2000, Boundless Grace, Puffin Books

Boundless Grace by Mary Hoffman is a sequel to ‘Amazing Grace’  (also by Mary Hoffman). In Hoffman’s latest book the protagonist (Grace) finds herself in a divided family. She lives with her mother and grandmother and can only recall the smallest details about her father, who left the family when she was very young leaving nothing but a few photographs and letters. Having moved to Africa, Grace’s father invites her to meet her younger brother and sister and comes to the realisation that even a separated family can still provide boundless levels of love and respect.  It’s at this stage in the story the reader is lead to the realisation that Grace is actually seeking out the kind of family unity she has read about.

The story line is genuine and delivers a number of issues that need to be resolved . The illustrations provide more depth and substance, allowing younger readers to properly grasp the story line. This is especially beneficial to younger readers who may not be able to grasp the story line and themes without possessing a relatively high ability to comprehend written texts.

Daddy’s getting married

Moore-Mallinos, J., Fábrega, M., Roca, N. and Fabrega, M 2006, Daddy’s getting married. United States: Barron’s Educational Series Inc.,U.S.

Targeted at a 6-8 year old reader, this book centers around a young girl whose parents have recently divorced. It depicts the girl’s feelings as she experiences a post-divorce family life, her anxieties as her father meets another woman and the processes of negotiation that occurs when Cindy (the stepmother) marries and moves in with the father.  At the conclusion of the book, the author explicitly acknowledges his intention to depict these anxieties within the protagonist. As Jennifer Moore-Mallinos notes, “When children are allowed the opportunity to explore their feelings…they will not only feel validated…but they will be reminded that their feelings matter.” The book achieves this, providing an excellent resource for children who may be struggling with these types of issues.

Dinosaur’s Divorce, Brown, Laurene Krasny and Brown

Brown, M, 1988 Dinosaur’s divorce, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

“One thing that never changes is your parents’ love for you” Dinosaurs Divorce uses a comical and novel approach, namely the separation of a dinosaur family, to explain in simple terms the challenges a split family can create for a child.

Anthropomorphic characters, established through illustrations of dinosaurs who have very human hair and eat peanut butter with pickles, are used to suggest to children that the events which happen in this book also may apply to their own lives.

The story line, while simplistic and heavy on illustration touches on all the classic points within the genre. Questions posed include, why has this event occurred? What will I do next? Who will I love next? The character is forced to consider how they will integrate new step parents and step siblings into their own lives. The protagonist  must also deal with events like, how to cope with family holidays and the adverse events which ensue.

The story is simplistic in nature and aims to ensure a younger audience is able to understand how to move forward once their family has gone their separate ways.

Do You Sing Twinkle? Sandra Levins & Bryan Langdo 

Levins, S 2009, Do you sing twinkle?, Magination Pr

‘Do You Sing Twinkle?’ Authored by Sandra Levins, this book provides a young boys perspective on the divorce of his parents and the introduction of a step-father on one side of the family. Not only does he acquire a new parent but he also also gains two step sisters from his mother’s new relationship. This in turn leads to a roller coaster of negative emotions. The protagonist feels neglect and mistrust within his new environment and before one day, emotionally ‘snapping’.

The protagonist then precedes to define his emotions to his new family. This includes the that fact that he does not appreciate the level of attention his biological mother gives to his step-sisters. This challenges the mother as while she is trying to create a relationship with one side of the family, the son feels as if he has inadvertently been neglected by the mother. This is compounded by the absence of his brothers, as he is the only male sibling residing with his biological father.

When the protagonist reveals his reservations to his parents they make an attempt to address each of his concerns in making alterations to the structure of the home and family environment, in the hope he will feel more intertwined with the unfamiliar setting.

It is obviously difficult for the parent to define the meaning and implications of divorce to young children but the author Levins does an excellent job in unfolding this story in a manner that addresses the challenges, emotions and psychological constructs that many children will uncover when negotiating the maze of parental divorce and integration. All the while employing a written and visual style which is easily accessible to children.

This book explores serious issues which some children may find difficult to cope with.  While aimed at a younger audience, some of the themes may disturb younger readings and require parental explanations to understand . While fantastic for certain families, school wishing to use this text should be aware of the themes which it explores and are encouraged to consult parents and guardians before using this text.

The Divorce Express

Danzinger, P 1982, The divorce express, Delacorte Press, New York City, USA.

Told from the point of view of a ninth grader, Phoebe is able to connect with readers in similar situations. Although her attitude of her parents initial split is negative, it helps younger readers understand and put into words the feelings of loss, anger and grief that they might be experiencing. She goes through many changes, including having to go between two homes – one which is in the heart of a big city, and the other in a country town far away from any of her other friends and family; and especially her new boyfriend. This isn’t the only problem; mum finds are new partner. Join Phoebe in her journey of discovering herself through all of the difficulties that she has to face.

Every Second Friday

Lightfoot, K 2008, Every second friday, Hodder Children’s Books, London, England.

Every second Friday, Margi and Totty go and stay at their dad’s house. They get to play in muddy puddles, get wet from head to toe and magnificently dirty. This book is designed to ease the minds of children that have separated parents and have visits that are scheduled. Children may find it daunting in the beginning that they have to move between houses, but this book is written to show them that they are just as loved and will have just as much fun with mum as well as with dad.

Heroes, Villains and Vincent

Payne, T 2013, Heroes, villians and vincent, Spiritboy Publishing, USA.

This story, which is aimed at 4-8 year olds, describes how the main character Vincent has two homes. In a twist on the genre, his mum is depicted as a superhero and his dad is shown to be a super villain.  The protagonist lives in two separate homes, and has two sets of parents that both love him very much. However, Vincent has some problems. Both sides of the family wish for him to follow their family business; but Vincent doesn’t want to rob banks and he certainly has no interest in flying at the speed of light. Instead, he decides that he will visit his uncle on the other side of the globe and ask him for advice.

This book discusses the difficulties that some blended and separated families may encounter when children live between more than one home. It allows children to understand that they are their own voice; encourages children to speak their minds and express their feelings. The book also reassures the child, suggesting that they should not and do not have to pick a side. Payne empowers his readers to do the same and recognise that their families love them, but to always be true to oneself.

It’s an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World. Paula Danzinger, 

Danzinger, P, 2007, It’s an aardvark-eat-turtle world, Perfection Learning

Author Paula Danzinger tells the story of fourteen year old ‘Best Friends Forever’ (BFF’s) Phoebe and Rosie, whose both parents being separated find them forming a family relationship that evolves to blended family status when both parents fall in love and agree to move in with each other.  However, as is all too often the case, friendships struggle when personal space is impinged upon and Phoebe and Rosie find living together with shared parents as a strain and challenge on their friendship.

Mindy, Rosie’s biological mother originally partnered with a man of cultural background, meaning Mindy, of cross cultural status is now the odd one out in the newly formed family and never feels truly accepted in the families ethical and cultural values.  In attempt to enlighten Rosie, Phoebe invites her to visit her stepfather’s family in Canada, something she jumps at, discovering her future boyfriend.

‘It’s an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World” is quirky, eccentric and comical; it is light reading but has a solid underlying plot line suitable for teenagers, while the themes it explores make it of high education value.

It’s Not the End of the World

Blume, J 1972, It’s not the end of the world,  Bradbury Press, New York, USA.

Blume first wrote this book as a dedication to her  husband at the time. It highlights all of the fears and worries that herself and her children were facing when the book as written. The arguments became more frequent, the silences were longer, and the family were scared.

Told from the point of view of her daughter, she tries to put on a brave face and help her family make it work. She sends letters, flowers and anniversary cards to each other from her in hope that it works out. Among the mayhem and events which make her feel like it is the end of the world, Karen realises that it is not the end – sometimes things just do not work out but that is okay and her family will be okay.

My New Dad

Hunter, R & Fairclough, C 2006, My new dad, Evans Brothers (Nigeria Publishers), London.

My New Dad is about a young boy who has two parents who have divorced. After the divorce, his mother begins a new relationship and eventually remarries. The young boy, William, is shown interacting with both biological father and step-father. A strong point in the book is the way in which it follows the emotional development of William. His anxieties about letting down his own father, his jealousy at the space the stepfather takes up are all made explicit in the first person dialogue. Equally, the ways in which William learns to deal with his new situation are conveyed in a believable and relatable manner. This book is one of the few children’s books reviewed which uses photographs rather than illustrations. Although making the story seem much more real, the photos also make the book appear dated. Despite being first published in 2000, many of the photos used appear to be significantly older.

My Fairy Step Mother

Prince, M & Prince, J 2013, My fairy step mother, Create Space Independent Publishing Platform, USA.

For many years children have been brought up with the notion that stepmothers are evil an  while this is certainly a stereotype, it can create feelings of fear and apprehension in many children’s minds. This story is written to highlight all of the positive aspects of having a stepmother, and although the dynamics may seem strange and new at first; she is shown to be a wonderful addition to their family.

When Amelia struggles to fall asleep, her new fairy step mother lets her in on a secret, and her tricks and tips to falling asleep peacefully. They form a wonderful bond, and highlights all of the positive influences that she has on Amelia’s life.

This book also teaches children how to deal and face some of the difficulties they may have adjusting to living in multiple homes, and how they can overcome some of these fears and feelings. It is a great book for parents that are separated and looking to introduce a new family member into the group, and a great book for step parents or biological parents to read to their step children.

No Matter Who We’re With

Vescio, R & Scholten, C 2013, No matter who we’re with, Interactive Publications, Brunswick, VIC, Australia.

This book centers around a family in which two parents share mixed custody of their children. The children are depicted performing a range of everyday activities, such as cooking, playing in the pool and making sand castles.  Each page’s illustrations convey a range of positive emotions which the children feel . The book explicitly deals with the potential for children to prefer one parent over another by creating characters which obviously love both parents equally. This is reinforced in lines like “ we miss Mum when were with Dad and we miss Dad when we’re with Mum. But we still have fun and lots of love.”  Overall, the book succeeds in associating positive emotions with a domestic situation that could obviously cause anxiety for young children.

Oh Brother! Nikki Grimes

Grimes, N, 2007, Oh Brother!, Greenwillow Books

The author Nikki Grimes delivers 20 stories in the medium of poems and illustrations from child Xavier’s perspective, the poems themselves allow for the exploration of Xavier’s feelings in relation to his new step brother…who has just moved in to his room. Despite the book being relatively small, it does give a sense of belonging and understanding to the characters.  Xavier transitions from a distant stepbrother to an individual capable of understanding what is required to deliver brotherly support. As this is a picture book, illustrations accentuate the plot and meaning of the text, giving a degree of depth and substance that words alone could not create. The multi-modal approach to story telling is natural and gives the reader additional insight into  both boys.  On every page, the imagery leaves the reader with a strong sense of connection and trust in what they are reading.

‘Oh, Brother’, is not an all-out guilt trip story, nor is it overly confrontational, it’s a nuanced story designed to provoke imagination and thought. A poetic approach  provides the reader with a more in depth understanding of the issues involved,  making this book a fantastic work for readers of all ages, especially for students in early primary school.

Room for a Stepdaddy. Jean Thor Cook & Martine Gourbault

Cook, J, 1995, Room for a stepdaddy, Albert Whitman & Company

‘Room for Stepdaddy’ by Jean Thor Cook & Martine Gourbault  is as much a story about Bill, the step father as much as it is about Joey the child.  Both parties are confused, Bill’s mother, integrated into the story , stays on the outer edges of the plot. This allows the interactions between Bill and Joey to be the focus of the narrative.

Step father Bill tries to bond with his new stepson Joey, however, it takes over a year for Joey to accept Bill as a father like figure. Joey, somewhat predictably, is seeking out one person; his biological father.

One poignant moment in the story is when Bill is forced to send a kindergarten aged Joey to the time out corner, which results in the expected, and clearly misunderstood statement  ‘You’re not my real dad’.

This story is about a 5 year old and his stepfather’s battles, but sooner or later Joey comes to the realisation that a love is not a competition, rather it is possible for being to show express equal amounts of love for different family members.

This book is humble and undramatic in its depiction of real world scenarios that any blended family could experience, while its story line is suitable for use within any school or home environment.

Solitary Blue

Voigt, C 1983, Solitary blue, Atheneum Books, New York City, NY.

One day, at seven years of age Jeff Greene comes home from school to find his mother Melody’s notes explaining that she loves him but had to leave him to help the world’s less fortunate people, and thereby ‘make things better’. As a coping mechanism, his father the professor becomes even more withdrawn, than his already stiff and emotionless self and turns his focus onto his work. In an attempt to fill the emptiness that his mother has left, his father attempts to rent the extra space out to a boarder. None of the boarders last very long except brother Thomas. He starts the journey to recovery for both Jeff and his father, they begin to exchange small gestures of love and kindness to each other and show subtle signs of father and son love.

In the summer of his twelfth birthday, Melody invites him to stay with her over the summer. At first he is mesmerised by her kindness and excitement and her eagerness to have him in her life again. However, as each summer passes she begins to spend less and less time with him, sometimes even leaving him on his own for an entire day. As things are beginning to look brighter with his dad, things just seem to get worse with his mother. Until one day, Jeff decides that he has had enough and does not go back. Although heartbroken; his relationship with his father improves drastically; they pick a new house together, he moves school and although still reserved they become closer- developing a strong bond.

Written for more mature readers, perhaps 12 years and above, Voigt takes readers on a journey which explores what it feels like to have your heart broken and betrayed by a significant family member. Grief comes in many forms, and the characters in this story deal with each situation very differently. The book teaches readers that that it takes time to heal and although it may take a long time, there are others out there that love and appreciate you also. Strength, courage and trust takes time to rebuild, and for children going through similar situations, this book will give them a new understanding about how to deal with life’s most unexpected circumstances.

The Suitcase Kid. Jacqueline Wilson

Wilson, J, 2006, The suitcase kid, Yearling Press

The Suitcase Kid authored by Jacqueline Wilson and illustrated by Nick Sharratt tells the fictional story of a young girl Andrea caught in the disputed territory of her parent’s relationship breakdown. Andrea is determined to facilitate the reuniting of her family; however, as time passes, she moves to accept that no amount of childhood determination is enough and she must simply accept her parents have moved on.

Andrea, or ‘Andy’ as known to her friends tells the story of both her parents trying to gain sole custody, a story that could be reminiscent for some. Both her biological parents remarry, which creates even more confusion when Andy needs to integrate her life with newly married stepmother and stepfather. Not only does Andy share her insecurities but she also sees the uncertainly of her new step brothers and sisters. The entire story leaves you with the notion Andy’s parents would reunited, but she needs to look elsewhere for her emotional security.

Two Homes

Masurel, C & Denton, KM 2001, Two homes, Walker Books, London.

Two Homes is a book which targets an early primary school reader. It’s main character is a young boy whose parents share custody.  The book depicts the boy performing a series of activities such as brushing his teeth, cooking dinner and getting dressed. Each activity is shown twice, the first at the father’s house and the second time, at the mother’s house. By doing this, the book seeks to normalise a situation that young children would find difficult to manage, namely the need to live in multiple houses.

The pages in this book do, however, only show the positive side of such an arrangement. Unlike Daddy’s Getting Married this book does not allow the protagonist to express their anxieties or negative feelings about such a situation. As a result, this book is recommended to be used for a younger audience who may not benefit from the more nuanced characters contained in some of the other books reviewed here.